Dinner with Uncle Johnny

johnny beans was an enforcer for the mob
at thanksgiving dinner last night, he regaled our familia with his tales of old.
he boasted about grabbing a girls tits at the bar this one time.
she was like, “no, i don’t want that.”
and he was like, “i’m johnny beans you slig”
and then she was down for whatever.

he took her straight back to his F shack.
boned her down real heavy with some nice finger popping, cunnilingus, and a deluxe creampie to finish her off

after telling us that amazing tale he started to brag about some various murders and other things, but was giving a lot of unnecessary details so i lost interest and my thoughts wandered back to finger popping.
when i got home i you tubed it and now it’s kind of my new thing
it looks pretty fun

Simple Sins

Gregor the lustful woodsman, finished his flagon of honey mead, let out a tremendous belch, threw the flagon across the room and bellowed’.whoooress! service me now, i’ve much copper to fill your purses.’

the largest, whitest gals in the joint, kat and melinda, hopped to.  they’d whored long enough to know gregor slingblade was a fair man when it came to copper and was no slouch when it came to stuffing BBW’s

‘ooo gregor, you’re so steamy with lust, lets go have us a romp in my bed chamber’

‘nah, right here, felate me now.’

gregor pulled out at least eight inches of semi-hard flesh from his boiled leather trousers, he eyed the trollops greedily and tugged his grimey tube with desire. panting and muttering.

The Fundamentals

My rod is a plunger
scoopin out foreign  jizz

i stuff it deep
drop my seed
it’s more fertile than his

when it comes to group sex
or running a train
the fattest cock
and strongest seed
will continue the strain

Business as Usual

Jimbo Slice was a gentleman’s gentleman, a real golden arrow. He stood tall, flew straight like the shaft, or the crook of a shuttle cock. He was almost never late.

His black dong measured 5 inches flaccid. Roughly.

Jimbo leaned into the truck stop toilet wall. Thrusting his manhood forward, flaccid cock exposed to toilet air and prying eyes. A challenge to all comers.

Daisy stood before him. Defiant to his prowess. Jimbo was Daisy’s pimp. She, his bitch.  Daisy yearned for power and begged for cocks. She was in the right line of work. Jimbo gave no mercy. Ever.

14 years as a truck stop whore taught this bitch many things. How to act right was not one of them.

“Spect me to suck cocks fo free? I gots bills”

“Bish bend ova.” was jimbo’s curt reply.

Daisy set her petty quibblings aside for the moment, but she made a mental note to ask for more money later.

She undid the large, loose weave buckle of her dungarees and flipped them over her enormously dark anus, exposing it to her owner.

Jimbo was taken aback by the size, it had accrued mass since he’d last fucked it. The spaghettification process started pulling Jimbo’s member into the hole at a frightening clip.  When his balls finally caught up to his tip and shaft, he was already cumming. And screaming his head off.

He fired lava hot wads Into another dimension.

Possibly another universe.

Imperative

Long dicks,
heavy dicks
she wants
she ain’t needy

stiff,
hard fat cocks
she yearns
but ain’t greedy

she’s opened up wide
and a begging for seed
her sloppy hole indicates
she’s ready to breed

Free Spirit

It’s the trailer park lifestyle
that she lives
got an ad
on craisgslist
looking for spizz

from some random guys
the more the better
big bukkake party
makes her pussy get wetter

they be standing in line
pulling at their sticks
hot loads on her face
is how she gets her kicks

A Perfect Day

Chuck prowls the lots for lizard of all sorts. Don’t matter to Chuck; he’d barebacked his way across the nation without qualms of ever comin’ up a failure. Success to Chuck was measured in miles and loads….

Presently, Chuck was at Lindys, a dive stop north of Telusa by way of 95. Chuck parked his rig, hopped out on the pavement and strutted like a man on a mission. That mission was pussy. He’d been to Lindys before, rode a few dames here years back, but the new Chuck was all about fresh faces.

Darwin’s Quandary

Some girls yearn to be absolutely brimming with dicks and semen. When their pussies are ready for breeding, they inform by saying, “Keep letting all these guys fill me and cumming deep!”

From an evolutionary standpoint, we should embrace the gang-bang. Girls like this, who lust for gang bangs, are more evolved.

After all, the desire to breed is the foundation of longing for many cocks. Many cocks in extended sessions.

Grease Lessons

Helga the whore is a 400 pounder. she’s built like sloppy joe’s stacked on an African mud hut. She wears old timey brothel clothing.

Tommy is a stick thin, sniveling coward. He’s always sniveling. That’s what he does. but not for long. he’s to become a man today

let’s see how he does.

knock knock…

helga opens the door

“what can i do fer ya, little fella”

“um, miss helga, my dad says if i bring you this, you’ll make me a man” tommy offers her the piece of copper his father gave him.

she accepts the token in her meaty paw.

“oh boy, isn’t that sweet of your father, well, don’t worry, come sit on the bed and relax.. just lay back and let it happen”

tommy walked over and sat at the edge of the bed, but, hesitated a moment too long for Helga. she pushed him back hard on the bed “i said lay down ya little shit, and take your pants off, NOW! “ her tone quite matronly.

“what?, ok. y-yes mam,”. tommy was trembling, trying to work the belt buckle was an ordeal under the stress caused by Helga’s demanding timbre.

tommy moved  too slow for the eager Helga. she snatched up the buckle, yanked hard, snapped it with a  grunt and threw it against the wall.

she grabbed his britches at the waist and yanked ‘em all the way to his ankles in one heaving tug.

tommy’s’ flaccid willy was on display and his face was covered in shame

“oh gawd, what’s happening?”

“shut your mouth and close your eyes”.

he obeyed

Helga disrobed her old timey outfit and let her body release its stench, she reeked of pickles, onions, and the cum of many angry and sad men.. she pounced onto the bed with a crash, straddling tommy’s face with surprising grace for her size. the bed creaked, threatening to collapse. but it maintained because it was well crafted.

anyway

she smothered his face, he panicked and tried to flail but he couldn’t move his puny body. he gasped for air. Helga was loving it, she was born for this work.

“don’t fight it ya shit, helga’s at the helm”

she took his entire limp unit, balls included into her maw, tommy whimpered.

she alternated between sucking hard and humming low. bouncing gently on the bed with her massiveness.

tommy was freaking out pretty bad. half moaning half pleading into helga’s vaginal bucket. “oh god, forgive me…i don’t want this”, the answer he received was the echo of his own voice, coming from deep within helga’s cavernous gape. it was like a canyon.

Helga inserted one of her big ole gorilla fingers into tommy’s anus.

he begged for mercy. “please no, it hurts. i don’t wanna be a man”

she bounced hard, slamming her mass against him to punish him for whining,

she sucked harder and prodded his hole deeper “oooooowww” he whimpered, “OOOOOOhhh somethings happening”

helga, being an old pro, recognized the change in vocal tonality indicating the impending cumshot. she ramped up the intensity, plunged her gorilla finger faster and sucked harder. really going for it.

and when tommy hit that special note, she gave him her “special treatment”, she eased her sausage finger out of his ass and crammed her thumb in, it was like a damn bratwurst. this bitch was fatter than hell. and her thumb was like a bratwurst, i mean, maybe even a summer sausage or a popcan i don’t know, but the technique worked, it instantly turned tommy into a cum geyser, spraying like a cannon, Boom! Boom!, “ahhhh, what’s happening? oh my gawd, ahhhhh” he was screaming his head off, in one swift move Helga jumped up like an obese ninja doing a burpie and plopped her asshole down all the way onto tommy’s’ erupting cock, at the same time,  jammed the bratwurst thumb up his ass to the hilt, turning his prostate to smithereens. “cum in my ass you turd!” she demanded.

her asshole was overflowing with fluids in no time.

“oh god noooo, mommmyyyyyyyy!!!!! “

Tommy fired all of his childhood memories into helga’s humongous hole and he never looked back. Helga’s eyes lit up and she grinned as she fulfilled her life’s purpose.

that was the day that tommy, became thomas.

The End

Strife & Struggle

i stomp down my desire
i was yearnin’ for sins

snap back like a rubber band
the lustin’ begins

i’ll take this bitch that bitch
and all in between
tuggin’ seeds out my naughty bits
i must be a fiend

i’m shreddin’ my reality
n tappin’ my capacity
for tight
ass tits
and girls that play submissively

Fighting for Equality

checked into the lobby
of this motel six
strolled over to the bar
n met some chix with dix

they were
pedd-a-lin their weiners
and their asses too
they said come on handsome man
we want to fuck with you

i didn’t take offence
i kept super fried chill
grabbed these trannies by their cocks
n said here’s the deal

y’all got 2 big hogs
and  i got one
3 dicks in a pile
could be a lot of fun

so they parted my cheeks
like the red sea,
i felt sublime jubilation as they jizzed in me.
they gave me AIDS in my ass
and the HIV

it was worth it tho
most definitely

Coastal Joy Ride

yo,
my tailor fitted khaki slacks
be huggin on muh nutsack
it’s a long ride
down the coast
in me Cadillac

smoking on a ball a crack
n feel my heart’s bout to tack
sub-lingual, down a tab
pulled out my fanny pack

gave this bag a real zip
felt muh grip start to slip
s-curve sent muh ride
up river with a flip

now um out
on my back
rivers cutting no slack
murky ass depths
be squi-shin
on muh cataracts

The Dangers of Excess

Chris ate shit for the 3rd time in his life on his 30th birthday. Which just happened to be aligned with the summer solstice. He pined for day when he could chew turds without being judged by his peers.

Life was very tough.

Chris marches along the tall row of sidle bites. Chewing licorish to enhance the flavor of his 3rd piece.

On Chris’ 43rd birthday he ate shit for the 4th time, possibly many more. He’d stopped counting long ago. Betwixt bites Chris used a magicians palming technique to hoard pieces for later.
He’d become quite greedy.

Rap it up Grandma

muh grandma took a beating
at the hands of the police
she was covered… in bruises
but you know that was the least
of her problems,

yeah, she suffers from gout
never voices her concerns
grams you gotta let it out

she’s got cancer…
you know what i’m saying?…

no,  health insurance
she be doing some praying
and some futuristic healing
on the holistic tip..

 n’ 2 days later
we all said RIP

 RIP grams
one love

Poem 7-Prognosis

dropped a loose turd this morning,
drank too much last night.
the site of blood in my stool
gave me a real fright

my colon’s full of cancer
what else, could it be
my suspicions were confirmed
on the web MD

yup,
cancer…
to-ta-lly…

got no health insurance
i got web M-D

and cancer

Pride & Predjudice: Part 2

we find the duke jean pierre in the study of his stately abode, our studious duke is seated in a throne-like burgundy leather chair that was made by the finest craftsmen in all the land. the refined dukal gent is scribing an old timey document with a quill when someone unexpected enters

tis The baron lothar von greyskull, the dukes mortal enemy, the decrepit baron comes dressed in leathers, black as night. his aged lung wheeze like a rattle.

the duke grinned and piped “oh my, look who’s risen, from the murky depths of hell, my elderly baron, by my trope  i say, you should have remained in the blaze, there is nothing here for you now. my coffers are empty and my wenches have turned ill, now make haste old baron and be gone, while you’re here searching for a suitable place to die, i’ve state affairs to attend to”

the baron hobbled his ancient frame across the floor, holding the duke’s gaze. he placed his palms upon the desk, and leaned in to rasp

“i have come, to fuck your mind and take your life, you have betrayed me”

The duke casually picked up a wizardly smoking pipe from his desk, struck a match and fired it up. he took a nice long puff and sent the minty pipe smoke billowing into the barons leathered face.

“oh my, that’s quite vexing lothar my old nemesis,  i’m confounded, you see, i’d been assured of your demise by my a-trusted squireboy, davey.”

“HA!  your “boy” davey took of aged mead from the chalice of champions and he’s professing dribble”

the duke enjoyed the longest, slowest puff he’d ever taken in his life, just to show the baron who was in control, he exhaled again, nice and slow, a river of froth oozed from the duke and enveloped the barons wrinkled body.

“oh lothar you wretched fiend, so you’re back again and peddling balderdash about my dearest davey. imagine, davey, quaffing potions with reckless abandon, that sounds a proper wash. that is surely not my davey. no no.”

the baron leaned in closer and held a penetrating glare.

“your boy davey was at the helm of the clipper ship, in my mind.”

“I beg your pardon baron?”

“davey was at the helm. until i fired him into the abyss…the abyss of your mind, duke, the abyss…of your mind.”

“wha-what’s happening? I don’t like this, what brand of devilry is this? there’s a tingle betwixt mine ears, thy brain is…throbbing!.”

the duke dropped the lengthy hand crafted pipe on the desk, and sunk his face deep into his noble hands to shield himself from this new reality

“prepare for your mind-fucking duke”

“oh no, my dukal brain barriers have been penetrated by your treachery, why, you vagabond!”

The baron widened his stance and began to thrust his pelvis back and forth, simulating rhythmic coital pumps. each thrust sent a wave of pain and hysteria through the duke’s regal mind.

the duke cried, “please, i beg you baron, no more. your psionic phallus is destroying meee!!! ”

the baron whispered “the abyss of your mind gives me ultimate pleasure”

“your mind tool is pilfering my kingly crevasse, my genteel baron, please grant me clemency-eeee!”

the baron remained steadfast, ignoring the feeble pleas, he continued thrusting.

the duke slumped to the floor as he shat his pantaloons, farting loudly while sobbing as well.
the baron took the up the old timey smoking pipe, and puffed it very hard on his way out, at the door he turned to the sobbing, shit soaked duke and said “phase one complete, your mind is fucked, i’ll be back”

The End

Pride and Prejudice: Part 1

Captain Rogers growled through the saber blade in his bearded mouth, “Your d’s be filthy matey!”  he placed the saber there to free his hands for swinging on a rope over to The Duke jean pierre’s vessel…

the d’s he was referring to were the duke’s dogs, phil and jason. The Captain called dogs d’s to amuse himself. now the d’s were filthy, no doubt. but the duke wasn’t listening.

“You fiend! take thyself off this boat at once or i shall release the d’s at you, and i must admit, you are very astute, they’re quite filthy, intentionally so, they get nastier that way.”

“arrg, ya be crazy if you think i’m leaving without fillin’ me coffers.”

“d’s. attack!”

“argggg”

cappy scathed the d’s snouts as they lunged, it was a quick melee.

phil and jason scurried away, no doubt to lick their wounds and sniff themselves into oblivion.

“oh my dear captain that was very fiendish even for the likes of you”

“show me your coffers dukey!”

“you shant gain access to the duke’s coffers, you have besmirched my good name with your defeat of the royal d’s. the time has come sir, for us to duel.”

The duke jean pierre was from the finest french schools, ate rare meats and cheeses and was fairly versed in the art of sabre combat. So he felt confident he could best this ruffian.

“your challenge be accepted, you filth-y duke,” emphasis was placed on the filth, the captain besmirched the duke again, with a mere syllable.

the duke lost his shit and flailed his sabre wildly, rushing the captain.

“respect my title you lesser beast of men, “

“arrrrrrrg.”

the captain had trained in sabery on the high seas for a lifetime and easily parried all of the dukes wild swinging attacks.

ching chang

“why my dearest captain, you bottomless dreg of uncertain breeding, i demand you halt your efforts and yield unto the duke’s prowess”

cappy yawned at the absurdity of the duke’s request

ching ching.

the enraged duke was panting from the exertion

“suspend your efforts to defeat me captain, i perceive your demise within the duke’s grasp”

“arrrrrg, give up and admit your doubloons belong with me…let me fill me coffers and be on me way.”

ching ching,

“i say dear captain, you’ve a flair for the dramatics, i’ll do no such thing”

“ya be marchin to yer grave, then, dookey!”

cappy was checking his iphone with one hand, and using the other to block the duke’s weak ass efforts.

“”

“but-but I am  the duke of these parts, there’s nary a chance a mere pirate could defeat me” duke was on the verge of tears.

cappy did some sick sabre play with some parrying and other stuff that put him in a most favorable position with his blade at the duke’s neck

“Arrrrrg, admit i’m the better man and fill me coffers.”

“o-okay, i admit, you’ve bested me good captain, you’re quite valiant, i shall oblige and fill your coffers deeply with the mightiest of treasures.”

dukey filled captains coffers with all the sickest gems and doubloons, as promised.

“there be just one more thing dookey.”

“w-w-what’s that?”

cappy unzipped his pirate pants and cast his cock out, it thudded on the vessel’s deck and unfurled like a firehose across the ship. “suck on this here pirate hog.“
the duke jean pierre learned about respect and fellatio that day. two very tough, but important lessons.

The End