Dad Solo

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Doris spent a rare evening at home alone without husband or family. She took some time to organize her pantry, penned a letter to her sister overseas, drank some wine and watched a film on netflix. As she was drifting off to a peaceful rest on the couch, her eldest daughter Samantha burst through the front door, slammed it behind her and threw herself into her mother’s lap wailing.

“Oh Mother, you won’t believe how awful it was.”
“What was awful Samantha? Your date with that handsome young Jason?”
“He’s not handsome at all mother, he’s loathsome, positively loathsome, I hate him!”
“Oh heavens I’m sure it wasn’t that bad Samantha, have a seat and tell me all about it”

Samantha regained her composure and told her tale:

“Well, we were in his car and…He kissed me mother, my very first kiss.  It was everything I’d hoped for mother, I thought I fell in love the very moment his lips touched mine, and then…..then mother, he stuck his hand up my skirt and put a finger in my ass! Oh, dear god mother it was 2 knuckles in, possibly 3!…i didn’t know what to do, or say and before i knew it.. his big ol’ dick had made its way into my asshole. He fucked it deep and uncorked a piping hot load that gushed out like hot clam chowder onto my legs and pussy. Oh dear god mother, there must’ve been at least 2 gallons, I just want to die. I never want to see Jason again and my ass-hole is ruined.”

Mother chuckled and told a tale of her own:

“You know Samantha, your father and I saved ourselves for marriage.  Hell, everyone did in those days. Imagine my surprise when on our wedding night he told me a woman’s worth should be determined by the width of her gaping asshole. He brought a speculum to our wedding bed and pried my ass open as wide as he could because he said he wanted to, “see what was going on up in there.” and that he couldn’t wait to, “Dump a hot one down my Sarlacc pit.”

“Oh mother that’s horrible! What in God’s name is a Sarlacc pit?”
“Oh it’s just a Star Wars thing that looks like a giant gaped asshole. Here I’ll google it on my phone, here it is, see? That’s a Sarlacc pit.”

“I guess that does look like an asshole, Hmmm. Mom? What’s Star Wars?”
You’ve never seen the movie, Star Wars?
“No, any good?”
“Yeah…it’s the best.”

Johnny 2cups

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Prepare yourself for an epic tale about a homeless feller named Johnny; folks called him 2cups cuz he once ate a cup a shit and washed it down with a piss chaser.

This one time, after a nice day of begging he scored a 30 bag of black tar heroin and offered to split it with Toothless Tina on one condition, she’d use his privates, as a toilet. Tina agreed.

So they went to 2cup’s cardboard abode, he laid down on his bed of newspapers and jerked his long dick while Tina got naked and squatted over it.

2cups began tugging furiously as he watched the heavenly sight of her butt-hole opening up nice and wide to deliver its grimy payload.

Plop Squirt mmmPlop

The #2’s that fell out of her ass were everything 2cups was longing for.
Hot steamy piles of coiling shit covered his long homeless dick like soft serve ice cream.

He jerked the feces onto his penis and mashed it right into his balls. This sent him over the edge, blasting a hot cum geyser straight into her ass-hole from 2 feet away!

Tina dropped her pussy onto the jizzing cock and was filled up right quick.

Sick as she was with AIDS; 7 months later she gave birth to a tard that she flushed down a park toilet.

 

 

 

A Perfect Day

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Chuck prowls the lots for lizard of all sorts. Don’t matter to Chuck; he’d barebacked his way across the nation without qualms of ever comin’ up a failure. Success to Chuck was measured in miles and loads….

Presently, Chuck was at Lindys, a dive stop north of Telusa by way of 95. Chuck parked his rig, hopped out on the pavement and strutted like a man on a mission. That mission was pussy. He’d been to Lindys before, rode a few dames here years back, but the new Chuck was all about fresh faces.
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Grease Lessons

helgaHelga the whore is a 400 pounder. she’s built like sloppy joe’s stacked on an African mud hut. She wears old timey brothel clothing.

Tommy is a stick thin, sniveling coward. He’s always sniveling. That’s what he does. but not for long. he’s to become a man today

let’s see how he does.

knock knock…

helga opens the door

“what can i do fer ya, little fella”

“um, miss helga, my dad says if i bring you this, you’ll make me a man” tommy offers her the piece of copper his father gave him.

she accepts the token in her meaty paw.

“oh boy, isn’t that sweet of your father, well, don’t worry, come sit on the bed and relax.. just lay back and let it happen”

tommy walked over and sat at the edge of the bed, but, hesitated a moment too long for Helga. she pushed him back hard on the bed “i said lay down ya little shit, and take your pants off, NOW! “ her tone quite matronly.

“what?, ok. y-yes mam,”. tommy was trembling, trying to work the belt buckle was an ordeal under the stress caused by Helga’s demanding timbre.

tommy moved  too slow for the eager Helga. she snatched up the buckle, yanked hard, snapped it with a  grunt and threw it against the wall.

she grabbed his britches at the waist and yanked ‘em all the way to his ankles in one heaving tug.

tommy’s’ flaccid willy was on display and his face was covered in shame

“oh gawd, what’s happening?”

“shut your mouth and close your eyes”.

he obeyed

Helga disrobed her old timey outfit and let her body release its stench, she reeked of pickles, onions, and the cum of many angry and sad men.. she pounced onto the bed with a crash, straddling tommy’s face with surprising grace for her size. the bed creaked, threatening to collapse. but it maintained because it was well crafted.

anyway

she smothered his face, he panicked and tried to flail but he couldn’t move his puny body. he gasped for air. Helga was loving it, she was born for this work.

“don’t fight it ya shit, helga’s at the helm”

she took his entire limp unit, balls included into her maw, tommy whimpered.

she alternated between sucking hard and humming low. bouncing gently on the bed with her massiveness.

tommy was freaking out pretty bad. half moaning half pleading into helga’s vaginal bucket. “oh god, forgive me…i don’t want this”, the answer he received was the echo of his own voice, coming from deep within helga’s cavernous gape. it was like a canyon.

Helga inserted one of her big ole gorilla fingers into tommy’s anus.

he begged for mercy. “please no, it hurts. i don’t wanna be a man”

she bounced hard, slamming her mass against him to punish him for whining,

she sucked harder and prodded his hole deeper “oooooowww” he whimpered, “OOOOOOhhh somethings happening”

helga, being an old pro, recognized the change in vocal tonality indicating the impending cumshot. she ramped up the intensity, plunged her gorilla finger faster and sucked harder. really going for it.

and when tommy hit that special note, she gave him her “special treatment”, she eased her sausage finger out of his ass and crammed her thumb in, it was like a damn bratwurst. this bitch was fatter than hell. and her thumb was like a bratwurst, i mean, maybe even a summer sausage or a popcan i don’t know, but the technique worked, it instantly turned tommy into a cum geyser, spraying like a cannon, Boom! Boom!, “ahhhh, what’s happening? oh my gawd, ahhhhh” he was screaming his head off, in one swift move Helga jumped up like an obese ninja doing a burpie and plopped her asshole down all the way onto tommy’s’ erupting cock, at the same time,  jammed the bratwurst thumb up his ass to the hilt, turning his prostate to smithereens. “cum in my ass you turd!” she demanded.

her asshole was overflowing with fluids in no time.

“oh god noooo, mommmyyyyyyyy!!!!! “

Tommy fired all of his childhood memories into helga’s humongous hole and he never looked back. Helga’s eyes lit up and she grinned as she fulfilled her life’s purpose.

that was the day that tommy, became thomas.

The End

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Several presents

Happy Birthday girl
We got you a box
go on, give us a twirl
before we stuff you with cox

we got 1 for your mouth
and 2 fo yo ass
point your butt deep south
put your face in the grass

while we huff n puff
n fill you with stuff
yer filled with pleasure
cuz you like it this ruff

Rap it up Grandma

muh grandma took a beating
at the hands of the police
she was covered… in bruises
but you know that was the least
of her problems,

yeah, she suffers from gout
never voices her concerns
grams you gotta let it out

she’s got cancer…
you know what i’m saying?…

no,  health insurance
she be doing some praying
and some futuristic healing
on the holistic tip..

 n’ 2 days later
we all said RIP

 RIP grams
one love

Poem 7-Prognosis

dropped a loose turd this morning,
drank too much last night.
the site of blood in my stool
gave me a real fright

my colon’s full of cancer
what else, could it be
my suspicions were confirmed
on the web MD

yup,
cancer…
to-ta-lly…

got no health insurance
i got web M-D

and cancer