Einstein’s Posthumous Breakthru

einsteinjpgjpg-4a389e85f92a0547

Your super string theory…
It perplexes me
I found my ding-a-ling theory
With some ecstasy

I take the volume of loads
That I’ve jizzed in an ass…
Divide by my proclivity
To tolerate sass

And the answer I get
Is always the same…
Proportionate to the number…
Of pussies I’ve tamed

Suzy’s Home Crisper

fresh-cucumber-carrot-juice
Suzy woke up…
Thirsty for cock
Shed some tears in a cup…
And fired up a rock

Cuz her man left her
And she
Was missing him…
She raided
The crisper
Got some produce for her quim…

She,
Stuffed it to the brim…
With fresh
Cukes and carrots
She forgot about him…
To focus on the merits

Of a healthy diet…
Some exercise…
And every man’s bias
For anal creampies

A One-way Ticket to Bricktown

bbjar
Scrollin’

Through craigslist
Lookin’ for a gang bang
I’m uninhibited
So, I like to let my wang hang

I found a real skeeze
Beggin’
For party favors

I called the dope man
With my favorite meth flavor

I showed up late….
To quite the scene…
A grupo de negros
Filled her holes with cream
 
I let my crystal meth burn
It was that Heisenberg stuff
And when it came my turn…
I bricked in her muff

Bug Chaser’s Delight

ugly-pincer-beetle-johnfarley

Lemme tell y’all something
bout where I been…

I ran away and filled
My empty heart with sin

There was nothin’ left
But pain and despair
I tried to throw my life away
Because I didn’t care…
Care

No I didn’t give a fuck
I was bare-backin’ hookers
Just to test my luck

While you were living your life
Pleased as could be
I was fuckin’ street walkers
With the HIV

Every Day is a Gamble

dice

I rolled out of bed
and i sat on a potato

In the kitchen
like McGyver
Fished it out
With a ladle

Bent over
Spread the cheeks
Filled my holes with hot grits

Drew up
The bath water
Took two big shits

Yeah

Kibbles n bits
KIBBLES N BITS!

Ryan Phillippe Rap

Freestyle Rap about how tite Ryan Phillippe is.

 

A Warm Summer’s Eve

ffff
i walk down to the fishbowl
tap on the glass
ladies smiling at me
tryin’ to peddle some ass

the man said, number 3
is eager to please
so i took her upstairs
and she got on her knees

gave her 25 bucks
for a suck and a fuck…
i rolled bare-back
just to test my luck