Einstein’s Posthumous Breakthru

einsteinjpgjpg-4a389e85f92a0547

Your super string theory…
It perplexes me
I found my ding-a-ling theory
With some ecstasy

I take the volume of loads
That I’ve jizzed in an ass…
Divide by my proclivity
To tolerate sass

And the answer I get
Is always the same…
Proportionate to the number…
Of pussies I’ve tamed

Suzy’s Home Crisper

fresh-cucumber-carrot-juice
Suzy woke up…
Thirsty for cock
Shed some tears in a cup…
And fired up a rock

Cuz her man left her
And she
Was missing him…
She raided
The crisper
Got some produce for her quim…

She,
Stuffed it to the brim…
With fresh
Cukes and carrots
She forgot about him…
To focus on the merits

Of a healthy diet…
Some exercise…
And every man’s bias
For anal creampies

A One-way Ticket to Bricktown

bbjar
Scrollin’

Through craigslist
Lookin’ for a gang bang
I’m uninhibited
So, I like to let my wang hang

I found a real skeeze
Beggin’
For party favors

I called the dope man
With my favorite meth flavor

I showed up late….
To quite the scene…
A grupo de negros
Filled her holes with cream
 
I let my crystal meth burn
It was that Heisenberg stuff
And when it came my turn…
I bricked in her muff

Bug Chaser’s Delight

ugly-pincer-beetle-johnfarley

Lemme tell y’all something
bout where I been…

I ran away and filled
My empty heart with sin

There was nothin’ left
But pain and despair
I tried to throw my life away
Because I didn’t care…
Care

No I didn’t give a fuck
I was bare-backin’ hookers
Just to test my luck

While you were living your life
Pleased as could be
I was fuckin’ street walkers
With the HIV

Every Day is a Gamble

dice

I rolled out of bed
and i sat on a potato

In the kitchen
like McGyver
Fished it out
With a ladle

Bent over
Spread the cheeks
Filled my holes with hot grits

Drew up
The bath water
Took two big shits

Yeah

Kibbles n bits
KIBBLES N BITS!

A Warm Summer’s Eve

ffff
i walk down to the fishbowl
tap on the glass
ladies smiling at me
tryin’ to peddle some ass

the man said, number 3
is eager to please
so i took her upstairs
and she got on her knees

gave her 25 bucks
for a suck and a fuck…
i rolled bare-back
just to test my luck

 

Trigger Warning

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oh hey filthydee
how you doing today?
well thank you for asking.
i’m excited to say

i’m feelin’ triggered….yeah
someone said something bad
and i’m triggered….yup
they made me real mad

i thought i heard rape
and i started to cry
someone said anal gape
and i had to ask why

it seems no-body here
gives a fuck about me
enough to tap-dance
around my sensibilities

i’m fuckin’ triggered…
and i’ve got a target to blame
gonna fire up the blog…
and cover them in shame

Aids poem

hivver
Hip, hop hooray
it’s fuckin aids day
i threw a bug chasin’
gang bang
for my birthday

now i’m down to catch the hiv’
if you’re ready to give
drop your loads in my ass
and watch
my loins quiv

see my eyes roll back
into my head
let’s fire up some crack
and smoke til’ we’re dead

god willing…
cuz life is pain
cream filling…
AIDS TRAIN!

Coastal Joy Ride

yo,
my tailor fitted khaki slacks
be huggin on muh nutsack
it’s a long ride
down the coast
in me Cadillac

smoking on a ball a crack
n feel my heart’s bout to tack
sub-lingual, down a tab
pulled out my fanny pack

gave this bag a real zip
felt muh grip start to slip
s-curve sent muh ride
up river with a flip

now um out
on my back
rivers cutting no slack
murky ass depths
be squi-shin
on muh cataracts

Poem 7-Prognosis

dropped a loose turd this morning,
drank too much last night.
the site of blood in my stool
gave me a real fright

my colon’s full of cancer
what else, could it be
my suspicions were confirmed
on the web MD

yup,
cancer…
to-ta-lly…

got no health insurance
i got web M-D

and cancer