King Harold’s Glorious Reign

King-John-King-of-England-566721

The Mighty King Harold awoke punctually  at 6:00 AM to his 3rd mistress sucking on his morning wood and his 5th mistress tonguing his scrotum and asshole. Just as Harold had arranged with the help of his atrusted manservant Davey the night before. The king’s schedule was very regimented in this manner. He dropped his nut in mistress #3’s mouth at 6:05 on the dot. Both mistresses shared his regal load, cumswapping it back and forth several times before #5 swallowed the lot. They promptly left the king’s chambers

King Harold rang his bedside gong and Davey the Manservant entered, with a mustache on his face and servitude on his mind.

“Yes my king.”
“Come hither Davey, there’s much to be done today.”
“At your service my lord.” Davey stepped forward, producing a notebook and pen from his suit pocket.
“Today I will accomplish something no king before me dared dream.”
“Oh, my your excellency, that sounds splend-”
“Silence!” The king reproached
“I have two words for you.” The king motioned Davey closer.
Davey leaned in.
“Double prolapse.” The king whispered gravely.
“Most impressive my lord, and how may I be of service?”
“Schedule a bath for 6:15, and at 6:25 punctually, send in mistress #216.”
“Will there be anything else, your excellency?”
“Yes, have my kingly scepter brought to the bath at once.”
“Ahh, which one me lord, the one with the diamonds or the one with the rubies?”
“Diamonds of course.”

And now the story progresses as we find our king fully scrubbed in the royal bathtub, stroking his 10 inch royal cock in a very regal manner, like a handmaiden polishing a french parisian banister.

#216 enters on schedule wearing nothing, sees the king’s hog and takes it deep into her mouth without prompting.

After exactly 5 minutes of oral the king gets 216 on her hands and knees, and fills her ass with his dick and fucks it very hard. Then, he stuffs his kingly scepter into her pussy-hole for the full DP experience. She moans as she feels the diamonds affixed to the scepter hitting her g-spot.

Her moans increase in intensity, indicating she’s about to blow. The moment her pussy begins to squirt, the king shoved scepter and cock into their respective holes as deeply as the holes would allow.

Then the King pulled dick and scepter out simultaneously, so fast that it created a vacuum and the King achieved what he’d aspired to his entire life. Harold looked down upon the much coveted double prolapse he’d induced. Her guts were straight falling out of her pussy and half her colon was blossoming from her anus into a beautiful rosebud! He jizzed roughly 2 litres of cum all over her exposed internal components. Then, he casually grabbed the base of her pussy guts and rosebud, one in each hand, and propped his foot on her ass, pulled back hard in a rowing motion and thrusted  her ass with his foot, she fell dead into the tub while he was left holding the bulk her large intestine and all of her pussy parts that fell out.

The king did the double prolapse trick every morning for the next 25 years.

So let’s see, 25 years times 365 days per, equals 9125 mistresses
Times that by 2 to get the total number of prolapses
A whopping 18,250!

To this day, 500 years after his reign, no one has even attempted to beat The Mighty King Harold’s prolapse record.

I hope this tale has inspired you to chase a dream you’ve always wanted to follow.

Einstein: Hard Science and Hot Loads

einsteinjpgjpg-4a389e85f92a0547

My colleagues and I…
Mastered Yang Mills Theory
So we could run a train on
Madam O’leary

We triple teamed her
At a workday luncheon
Her ass was gaping
Like a constant function

An anal creampie…
Solved the equation
My load was hotter
Than gamma radiation

Rygar Jones Saves Humanity

caveman_by_jamajurabaev-d5hq6gi

In the year 25,000 B.C.

Humanity was on the brink of collapse due to ineffective breeding strategies.

Fact is, cave women had poor hygiene and bearded faces. Ish. So to breed, the men would jerk off in their hands and finger the cum into girls pussies as they slept, to avoid spending time with them. This resulted in a stiff decline in population.

That and the plague. It was ravaging the entire planet. Sparing few.

But there was one man…named Rygar Jones who was about to change the world forever.

Rygar Jones assembled a seven man team. They stockpiled supplies and quarantined themselves in a cave to escape the wrath of the deadly plague.

It was there Rygar proved to be a visionary. The first of his kind. He led seminars, sharing his philosophies on the necessity of breeding. He taught the men meditative techniques to visualize a woman without a beard, to allow them to fuck those that had beards.

After 18 months the plague was gone and Rygar Jones led his men in the charge, stoked to cream pussies.

Rygar saw the first bearded woman and his men knew that he had dibs because he called it back in the cave. They watched and cheered Rygar on as he gave the world’s first cream-pie while in the first ever pile driver position, which he also invented.

He shot over a gallon of jizz inside her and another two gallons sprayed out onto her face from her pussy because it was so full with Rygar’s large cock and cream-pie. As he blasted her with 18 months worth of hot semen, he screamed, “Be Fruitful and Cream-piiiiie!!!!”

Rygar’s seven man cream team did just that. They bare-backed and cream-pied the entire world.

Saving humanity.

Einstein’s Posthumous Breakthru

einsteinjpgjpg-4a389e85f92a0547

Your super string theory…
It perplexes me
I found my ding-a-ling theory
With some ecstasy

I take the volume of loads
That I’ve jizzed in an ass…
Divide by my proclivity
To tolerate sass

And the answer I get
Is always the same…
Proportionate to the number…
Of pussies I’ve tamed

Suzy’s Home Crisper

fresh-cucumber-carrot-juice
Suzy woke up…
Thirsty for cock
Shed some tears in a cup…
And fired up a rock

Cuz her man left her
And she
Was missing him…
She raided
The crisper
Got some produce for her quim…

She,
Stuffed it to the brim…
With fresh
Cukes and carrots
She forgot about him…
To focus on the merits

Of a healthy diet…
Some exercise…
And every man’s bias
For anal creampies

Superhot Party

unnamed
at a fetlife sexclub
no restrictions…
i’m servin’ up tug jobs
feedin’ addictions

i drop in
with my dong hangin’
velvet smokin’ jacket

giving sin
i be jizz slangin’
all types of faggots

Ageless Desire 2

woman-32551_960_720
Last night grandma jones
lived her lifelong dream
six super dark dicks
jammed her holes with cream

she had a butt-gasm
and her old knees buckled
her ass was a chasm
and her husband
a cuckold

the interracial gang-bang
went real well
that night her heart exploded
she went straight to hell