Pride and Prejudice: Part 1

blackbeard-pirate-woodcut.pngCaptain Rogers growled through the saber blade in his bearded mouth, “Your d’s be filthy matey!”  he placed the saber there to free his hands for swinging on a rope over to The Duke jean pierre’s vessel…

the d’s he was referring to were the duke’s dogs, phil and jason. The Captain called dogs d’s to amuse himself. now the d’s were filthy, no doubt. but the duke wasn’t listening.

“You fiend! take thyself off this boat at once or i shall release the d’s at you, and i must admit, you are very astute, they’re quite filthy, intentionally so, they get nastier that way.”

“arrg, ya be crazy if you think i’m leaving without fillin’ me coffers.”

“d’s. attack!”

“argggg”

cappy scathed the d’s snouts as they lunged, it was a quick melee.

phil and jason scurried away, no doubt to lick their wounds and sniff themselves into oblivion.

“oh my dear captain that was very fiendish even for the likes of you”

“show me your coffers dukey!”

“you shant gain access to the duke’s coffers, you have besmirched my good name with your defeat of the royal d’s. the time has come sir, for us to duel.”

The duke jean pierre was from the finest french schools, ate rare meats and cheeses and was fairly versed in the art of sabre combat. So he felt confident he could best this ruffian.

“your challenge be accepted, you filth-y duke,” emphasis was placed on the filth, the captain besmirched the duke again, with a mere syllable.

the duke lost his shit and flailed his sabre wildly, rushing the captain.

“respect my title you lesser beast of men, “

“arrrrrrrg.”

the captain had trained in sabery on the high seas for a lifetime and easily parried all of the dukes wild swinging attacks.

ching chang

“why my dearest captain, you bottomless dreg of uncertain breeding, i demand you halt your efforts and yield unto the duke’s prowess”

cappy yawned at the absurdity of the duke’s request

ching ching.

the enraged duke was panting from the exertion

“suspend your efforts to defeat me captain, i perceive your demise within the duke’s grasp”

“arrrrrg, give up and admit your doubloons belong with me…let me fill me coffers and be on me way.”

ching ching,

“i say dear captain, you’ve a flair for the dramatics, i’ll do no such thing”

“ya be marchin to yer grave, then, dookey!”

cappy was checking his iphone with one hand, and using the other to block the duke’s weak ass efforts.

“”

“but-but I am  the duke of these parts, there’s nary a chance a mere pirate could defeat me” duke was on the verge of tears.

cappy did some sick sabre play with some parrying and other stuff that put him in a most favorable position with his blade at the duke’s neck

“Arrrrrg, admit i’m the better man and fill me coffers.”

“o-okay, i admit, you’ve bested me good captain, you’re quite valiant, i shall oblige and fill your coffers deeply with the mightiest of treasures.”

dukey filled captains coffers with all the sickest gems and doubloons, as promised.

“there be just one more thing dookey.”

“w-w-what’s that?”

cappy unzipped his pirate pants and cast his cock out, it thudded on the vessel’s deck and unfurled like a firehose across the ship. “suck on this here pirate hog.“
the duke jean pierre learned about respect and fellatio that day. two very tough, but important lessons.

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2 comments on “Pride and Prejudice: Part 1

  1. Seems ye old Duke had to learn the hard way

    Yes pun intended 😆

    Liked by 1 person

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