Davey’s Deluge Of Dilemmas

noose

At an upscale wine bar stocked with well dressed men of the business variety, there’s a celebration in progress.

“Congrats Davey, Cheers!”
(Glasses Clinking)
“Cheers!”
“Well done Davey!”

“So Davey, what’s next?”
“Yeah Davey, what’s next?”
“What’s next for Davey? More like, what’s left?Am I right? He’s got a smokin hot wife, adorable children, and just made partner at the firm… Where do you go from here Davey?”

Davey thought for a long moment and replied:
“I’ve never really thought about it, I have everything that I…thought I wanted.”
“Oh heavens Davey, what do you mean, ‘thought you wanted’, you have everything a man could ask for.”
“Yeah, that’s what I meant.”

After the party ended; Davey paid a streetwalker to shit on his cock, turn it into a mud-pie. This huge BBW laid a real slimy #2 on his johnson. With the smell of shit still fresh on his dong. He put his head in a noose and jerked his grimy cock off till he died.

All the horrible feelings he’d been carrying around his entire life finally disappeared.

Samurai Code: No Homo

06

The Ronin Taco Sanchez eased through the door of a bustling Kyoto sake-house. The joint was brimful of drunken warriors and salacious whores. Taco took long and manly strides toward a grizzled samurai standing at the bar and with a respectful bow he spoke thus: “Chingbo Quan, master of the sacred style of 7 swords, I challenge thee to a duel.”

Chingbo casually sipped his drink, set it down and replied, “Well peasant if you’re ready to die I shall oblige you, challenge accepted.”

Taco stepped back and grinned, the anticipation got his cock so hard and swole that it grew beyond his kimono and thumped the tavern floor.

Chingbo gazed upon the foreboding phallus and launched his attack, not because he saw an opening or a weakness, it was out of fear…fear of that remarkable cock.

“Diiiiiiieee!!” Chingbo screamed drawing his sword, charging.

Taco ran head-on and used his dick to pole vault over the attack, he unsheathed his weapon mid-air and severed Chingbo’s arm. Taco stuck the landing and finished Chingbo’s sake. Chingbo turned to swing with a sword no longer there. His nub wiggled as he shrieked in horror and dropped to his knees, head hung awaiting his miserable fate.

Taco felt deep regret for having challenged such an unworthy opponent and also for knowing what he was required to do next according to samurai law.

He kicked the bleeding man hard in the chest toppling him to the ground, lifted his kimono and stuffed his sick-huge wang all the way to the hilt in the man’s soon to be gay asshole.

“Nooooo! kill me pleeeeease!!!” Chingbo wailed.

Taco’s cock came like a fucking howitzer into the dying samurai’s body, 16 gallons overflowed out of his now gay ass onto Taco’s non gay dick like a damn fire hose.

“Nooooo! I don’t want to die like this! I swear I’m not gay mommy!!!”

In one swift motion Taco withdrew his cock and shoved his sword through Chingbo’s now gay heart.

After the man’s gay carcass was removed and thrown into the nearby woods, Taco had an orgy with every whore in town to cleanse the vestiges of gayness from his penis and conscience.

The whores all agreed that Taco was very straight and manly and that his enemies were, “the gayest”

He fucked and killed every so called master in the world and died knowing there was never a man straighter than he.

Bug Chaser’s Delight

ugly-pincer-beetle-johnfarley

Lemme tell y’all something
bout where I been…

I ran away and filled
My empty heart with sin

There was nothin’ left
But pain and despair
I tried to throw my life away
Because I didn’t care…
Care

No I didn’t give a fuck
I was bare-backin’ hookers
Just to test my luck

While you were living your life
Pleased as could be
I was fuckin’ street walkers
With the HIV

A Warm Summer’s Eve

ffff
i walk down to the fishbowl
tap on the glass
ladies smiling at me
tryin’ to peddle some ass

the man said, number 3
is eager to please
so i took her upstairs
and she got on her knees

gave her 25 bucks
for a suck and a fuck…
i rolled bare-back
just to test my luck

 

Heavenly Glory

king-304290_960_720   The mighty king harold wore trousers made of velveteen. drank mead from a super fancy type golden goblet encrusted with all the rarest of gems and minerals. and he ruled his kingdom without mercy.

This morn we find our lord in his kingly quarters,  chewing a sprig of parsley to cleanse the remnants of pussy and ass juices from his noble mouth. last nights’ fuck session had been a frenzied mix of pure and offensive pleasures.

18 of his finest whores had eagerly milked at least 8 loads from his sick-huge kingly dong, straight into their pussies and assholes. he even did that move where you start unloading in one girls ass and then pull it out and get the last few squirts into another girls’ pussy hole. super hot stuff. pussy to ass? sooooo dirty right?  i mean, the kind of thing most dudes only dream about. but a very typical night for our king.

knock knock

“my lord there is a sir jimbo slice here to see you.”

jimbo was a vendor of exotic bitches and the finest truckstop whores.

jimbo did not bow to the king, he bowed to no one

he presented his finest and most darkest exotic whore,

the king started to fondle his own genitals in preparation, rubbing and smushing his regal balls and shaft.

“this be daisy, show him dat ass bish.”

daisy was quick to comply with her owners demand.

she nimbly unbuckled the loose weave of her dungarees and displayed her enormously dark anus to the king.

it was a supermassive black hole with all the gravitational pull of the universe. it sounded like a damn tornado.

upon its unveiling the kings cock swelled with maximum desire and began spegettifying quickly toward  the mass. her asshole was inhaling  everything in the room. and  when the tip of the king’s cock hit the eclipse, he jizzed a sick load.

he screamed ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i’m cummminnngg! i’m fuckin cuminnngggggg!!!

his regal load was the singularity
it spawned the milky way.

The High Road

boy-310729_640Jake Stevens was a two bit hood outta Kansas city. He never knew his father.

Jake’s mother, Darla, was a truck stop whore who gave it up for loose change, long rides, and mentholated cigarettes.

Jake was a bonus from one of Darla’s rig-hauling tricks. She’d mentioned that Jake’s likely father was a pleasant enough fellow who’d treated her as good as a whore deserved.

Daddy drove off in his big rig with a smile on his face and ass on his breath.

Jake was surly as they come.

A Ray of Hope

woman-571715_960_720“Philly cheese steak please” Gina slurred, with a slightly whining, almost begging tone.

Gina was unaware that she was talking to the curb…her naked body was lying head first, twitching & drooling into the gutter at the corner of 5th and Wabash, there was no one there to witness on this warm summer night.

she hadn’t eaten or bathed in weeks, her smack and crack habits were out of control now. they’d been building for years, possibly decades. Who knew… she no longer cared … dying of full blown aids, lesions covering her 80 lb body, soon to be carcass.

hooking was lucrative, at 1st, $500 an hour, times had changed, now her body was so loathsome and the presence of aids so obvious, she could no longer afford to be picky, her tricks treated her like a punching bag, and most demanded anal…she no longer bartered for her services, she gave them her ass or they’d jerk off on her and give her what they thought she was worth, sometimes they gave nothing. She accepted their assessment of her value

One night she smoked crack till her heart imploded in an alley by a dumpster brimming with trash.

Her soul drifted down to hades.