Davey’s Deluge Of Dilemmas

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At an upscale wine bar stocked with well dressed men of the business variety, there’s a celebration in progress.

“Congrats Davey, Cheers!”
(Glasses Clinking)
“Cheers!”
“Well done Davey!”

“So Davey, what’s next?”
“Yeah Davey, what’s next?”
“What’s next for Davey? More like, what’s left?Am I right? He’s got a smokin hot wife, adorable children, and just made partner at the firm… Where do you go from here Davey?”

Davey thought for a long moment and replied:
“I’ve never really thought about it, I have everything that I…thought I wanted.”
“Oh heavens Davey, what do you mean, ‘thought you wanted’, you have everything a man could ask for.”
“Yeah, that’s what I meant.”

After the party ended; Davey paid a streetwalker to shit on his cock, turn it into a mud-pie. This huge BBW laid a real slimy #2 on his johnson. With the smell of shit still fresh on his dong. He put his head in a noose and jerked his grimy cock off till he died.

All the horrible feelings he’d been carrying around his entire life finally disappeared.

Grandma ‘Sexpot’ Jones

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The decrepit Grandma, Janice Jones, is in a wheelchair being pushed into the entrance of Mt. Pleasant Nursing Home by her son Thomas.

“I love you ma, I’ll come visit real soon.”
“Don’t you leave me Tommy! I’ll push my wheelchair into the street I swear!”
“Sorry ma, I just don’t have the time or money to care for you anymore.”
“Oh god noooo! Please don’t leave me here to die!”
“Gotta go ma.”

She flopped out of her wheelchair onto the floor of the lobby, moaning and wailing as her son exited the scene with haste.

A kindly social worker scooped her up into her wheelchair, gave her a tissue and said this: “There there Mrs. Jones, I’ve been expecting you. My name’s Doris, and let me assure you you’re gonna love it here, dry your tears, cuz we’ve got activities for days and more importantly Janice, there’s a real sense of community here.”

“Oh my,  that sounds delightful, and to think I was nervous.”
“I’m glad I could assuage your concerns.” Doris gave an embrace and a promise to visit soon.

Grandma Jones was taken to her room and fed a dinner of potatoes with coleslaw.
For dessert she was fed hard african dick without mercy or condoms.

Here’s how it all went down:

Mrs Jones shit herself after supper and hit the call light for assistance.
Moments later 6 very dark orderlies carried her to the tub room kicking and screaming and proceeded to scrub and hose her down, after she was clean of feces, they let every hole have it with their giant african penises against her will…or was it?

Now Janice had been raped hundreds of times in her life, but never like this, these dreadful negroes had fire in their blood, hate in their hearts, and massive thundersticks!

She put up a mighty struggle, until they gave her double anal that snapped her spine in half; that’s when she lost her ability to writhe in agony, so she cried out, and in response, the savages smashed her chest with fists till her ribs shattered and bone fragments punctured her lungs, filling them with blood as her holes were being filled with dicks and cum. As her heart started to flatline and explode; she tasted the blood in her mouth, felt the dicks in her ass, and great relief, knowing that her terrible existence was finally at an end.

The coloreds burned her corpse in a trash can while they smoked crack and told tales of all the white women they’d raped and murdered.

King Harold’s Glorious Reign

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The Mighty King Harold awoke punctually  at 6:00 AM to his 3rd mistress sucking on his morning wood and his 5th mistress tonguing his scrotum and asshole. Just as Harold had arranged with the help of his atrusted manservant Davey the night before. The king’s schedule was very regimented in this manner. He dropped his nut in mistress #3’s mouth at 6:05 on the dot. Both mistresses shared his regal load, cumswapping it back and forth several times before #5 swallowed the lot. They promptly left the king’s chambers

King Harold rang his bedside gong and Davey the Manservant entered, with a mustache on his face and servitude on his mind.

“Yes my king.”
“Come hither Davey, there’s much to be done today.”
“At your service my lord.” Davey stepped forward, producing a notebook and pen from his suit pocket.
“Today I will accomplish something no king before me dared dream.”
“Oh, my your excellency, that sounds splend-”
“Silence!” The king reproached
“I have two words for you.” The king motioned Davey closer.
Davey leaned in.
“Double prolapse.” The king whispered gravely.
“Most impressive my lord, and how may I be of service?”
“Schedule a bath for 6:15, and at 6:25 punctually, send in mistress #216.”
“Will there be anything else, your excellency?”
“Yes, have my kingly scepter brought to the bath at once.”
“Ahh, which one me lord, the one with the diamonds or the one with the rubies?”
“Diamonds of course.”

And now the story progresses as we find our king fully scrubbed in the royal bathtub, stroking his 10 inch royal cock in a very regal manner, like a handmaiden polishing a french parisian banister.

#216 enters on schedule wearing nothing, sees the king’s hog and takes it deep into her mouth without prompting.

After exactly 5 minutes of oral the king gets 216 on her hands and knees, and fills her ass with his dick and fucks it very hard. Then, he stuffs his kingly scepter into her pussy-hole for the full DP experience. She moans as she feels the diamonds affixed to the scepter hitting her g-spot.

Her moans increase in intensity, indicating she’s about to blow. The moment her pussy begins to squirt, the king shoved scepter and cock into their respective holes as deeply as the holes would allow.

Then the King pulled dick and scepter out simultaneously, so fast that it created a vacuum and the King achieved what he’d aspired to his entire life. Harold looked down upon the much coveted double prolapse he’d induced. Her guts were straight falling out of her pussy and half her colon was blossoming from her anus into a beautiful rosebud! He jizzed roughly 2 litres of cum all over her exposed internal components. Then, he casually grabbed the base of her pussy guts and rosebud, one in each hand, and propped his foot on her ass, pulled back hard in a rowing motion and thrusted  her ass with his foot, she fell dead into the tub while he was left holding the bulk her large intestine and all of her pussy parts that fell out.

The king did the double prolapse trick every morning for the next 25 years.

So let’s see, 25 years times 365 days per, equals 9125 mistresses
Times that by 2 to get the total number of prolapses
A whopping 18,250!

To this day, 500 years after his reign, no one has even attempted to beat The Mighty King Harold’s prolapse record.

I hope this tale has inspired you to chase a dream you’ve always wanted to follow.

Rygar Jones Saves Humanity

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In the year 25,000 B.C.

Humanity was on the brink of collapse due to ineffective breeding strategies.

Fact is, cave women had poor hygiene and bearded faces. Ish. So to breed, the men would jerk off in their hands and finger the cum into girls pussies as they slept, to avoid spending time with them. This resulted in a stiff decline in population.

That and the plague. It was ravaging the entire planet. Sparing few.

But there was one man…named Rygar Jones who was about to change the world forever.

Rygar Jones assembled a seven man team. They stockpiled supplies and quarantined themselves in a cave to escape the wrath of the deadly plague.

It was there Rygar proved to be a visionary. The first of his kind. He led seminars, sharing his philosophies on the necessity of breeding. He taught the men meditative techniques to visualize a woman without a beard, to allow them to fuck those that had beards.

After 18 months the plague was gone and Rygar Jones led his men in the charge, stoked to cream pussies.

Rygar saw the first bearded woman and his men knew that he had dibs because he called it back in the cave. They watched and cheered Rygar on as he gave the world’s first cream-pie while in the first ever pile driver position, which he also invented.

He shot over a gallon of jizz inside her and another two gallons sprayed out onto her face from her pussy because it was so full with Rygar’s large cock and cream-pie. As he blasted her with 18 months worth of hot semen, he screamed, “Be Fruitful and Cream-piiiiie!!!!”

Rygar’s seven man cream team did just that. They bare-backed and cream-pied the entire world.

Saving humanity.

Bug Chaser’s Delight

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Lemme tell y’all something
bout where I been…

I ran away and filled
My empty heart with sin

There was nothin’ left
But pain and despair
I tried to throw my life away
Because I didn’t care…
Care

No I didn’t give a fuck
I was bare-backin’ hookers
Just to test my luck

While you were living your life
Pleased as could be
I was fuckin’ street walkers
With the HIV