Dad Solo

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Doris spent a rare evening at home alone without husband or family. She took some time to organize her pantry, penned a letter to her sister overseas, drank some wine and watched a film on netflix. As she was drifting off to a peaceful rest on the couch, her eldest daughter Samantha burst through the front door, slammed it behind her and threw herself into her mother’s lap wailing.

“Oh Mother, you won’t believe how awful it was.”
“What was awful Samantha? Your date with that handsome young Jason?”
“He’s not handsome at all mother, he’s loathsome, positively loathsome, I hate him!”
“Oh heavens I’m sure it wasn’t that bad Samantha, have a seat and tell me all about it”

Samantha regained her composure and told her tale:

“Well, we were in his car and…He kissed me mother, my very first kiss.  It was everything I’d hoped for mother, I thought I fell in love the very moment his lips touched mine, and then…..then mother, he stuck his hand up my skirt and put a finger in my ass! Oh, dear god mother it was 2 knuckles in, possibly 3!…i didn’t know what to do, or say and before i knew it.. his big ol’ dick had made its way into my asshole. He fucked it deep and uncorked a piping hot load that gushed out like hot clam chowder onto my legs and pussy. Oh dear god mother, there must’ve been at least 2 gallons, I just want to die. I never want to see Jason again and my ass-hole is ruined.”

Mother chuckled and told a tale of her own:

“You know Samantha, your father and I saved ourselves for marriage.  Hell, everyone did in those days. Imagine my surprise when on our wedding night he told me a woman’s worth should be determined by the width of her gaping asshole. He brought a speculum to our wedding bed and pried my ass open as wide as he could because he said he wanted to, “see what was going on up in there.” and that he couldn’t wait to, “Dump a hot one down my Sarlacc pit.”

“Oh mother that’s horrible! What in God’s name is a Sarlacc pit?”
“Oh it’s just a Star Wars thing that looks like a giant gaped asshole. Here I’ll google it on my phone, here it is, see? That’s a Sarlacc pit.”

“I guess that does look like an asshole, Hmmm. Mom? What’s Star Wars?”
You’ve never seen the movie, Star Wars?
“No, any good?”
“Yeah…it’s the best.”

Rosebud

bible
Daryl Jenkins was a pious man.
When he married Melissa, her hymen was still intact, because she’d always insisted on anal. Their love was true and pure.

On their wedding night, Melissa was not pleased. Daryl did none of the things she longed for. No finger poppin’, no anal creampies, and no monster facials; no slapping, calling her degrading names, or treating her like a piece of trash.
Nuthin’.

Just making sweet tender love, missionary style.
Daryl moaned, “oh…yes..be fruitful and multiply”,  while filling her pussy with a very weak load. It was everything he’d hoped it would be. Melissa cried herself to sleep, knowing that her husband couldn’t fuck for shit.

The next day Melissa posted a craigslist ad looking for BBC’s.
Her inbox was stuffed with potentials. Her asshole was stuffed with big brown dicks, so many brown dicks,  that her asshole prolapsed into a rosebud. Disgusting.
I mean, ish.

One day Daryl came home from work to find Melissa on her knees surrounded by all of her new colored friends, her face plastered with gallons of mostly fresh semen, her asshole hanging down to the floor like an old sock.
Daryl almost lost his faith that day.
Almost.

Daryl eventually forgave Melissa.
Melissa eventually gave Daryl AIDS, after she was creampied by a guy who’d done some very gay stuff in college.

Hail Mary

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On a cold winters eve
Dirty Dave was haulin’ logs to the Cumberland gap

He slipped his foot off the brake and fondled the gas, working it nice and slow
Pumping the pedals was all dave had in this world.

That and barebacking truckstop whores

“Wut you want dis time mistah?”
Dave kept his driving hand on the wheel,
And eased his jerking hand into his waistband, sliding his sweatpants from around his big trucker ass straight down to the floor.

“Snarl on this hog you truckstop pig!” He said pointing

His cock was hard as stone and 14 inches on even the worst of days
Today was decent
So he may have been pushin 20
18 minimum

The nameless whore with no notable attributes got to work
She may have tried her best. We’ll never know for sure
She was Slurping, moaning, tryin to be sexy n shit.
A lesser man may have went limp

But dirty dave was no lesser man,
He knew this was his chance to really pour on the coals.
He grabbed a handful of hair and started bucking his hips,
Thrusting deep and stomping the gas with each thrust
“Fuck…yeah, bring it “
“Yeehaaaw!”
“Guh guh guh”
“Oooooooweee”

In 3 gnarly blasts of jizz, Dave topped off her innards with 6 hot quarts, right to the brim.
He closed his eyes, blubbered some tears and whispered to himself, “burn in hell you piece of shit.”

He said a quick prayer to a god he knew didn’t exist, allah of course
And jerked the wheel, sending his big rig into a real big canyon.
Ejecting his soul directly to hell

His nameless passenger most likely went to hell also
But i don’t want to make any assumptions.

That, is a dangerous game

Cum Train

Abigail_Smith_Adams_by_Gilbert_Stuart“Why, you little piece of shit,” Mother howled, “I see the devil’s plucking your strings again!”

She’d walked in on her son, who was lying atop the cot of his quarters, fiddling himself gingerly. His trousers were around his knees. The boy wavered, discarded his cock, and proceeded to whimper. “It’s na-na-nothing, Ma, honest! I’s juss checking to see it works.”

Fluid matter sluiced his face, down the crook of his quivering chin. His innards folded with dread. Mother was raging again.

She roared, “Devil spawn! Repent sinner..!” Leaning in slowly, she whispered into his ear, “…Sinner,” then hit him with closed fist to the ribs. Thud!

“Owwww! Please Ma, don’t hit me again! I repent Lord! I repent! Please!” he wailed in earnest.

She doubled over and snatched his timid pecker with a pistol grip. “That’s it, that’s a good beast. Now it’s time to extract your sins in accordance with the ancient ways.”

“Ma, please, not again! …I repent! …I repented!”

“Silence!” she hissed, tugging briskly. Upon the upstroke, in an aggressive timbre, she scolded, “Repent!” Then on the downstroke, “Scum!” Her pace quickened as she recast over and over again, seething: “Repent! Scum! Repent! You scum!”

As the demon neared, she coupled her mouth to the shaft, ready to siphon the sins. The boy sniveled. “Forgive me Lord! Forgive muh.. muh… meeeEEE!”

His pumping phallus dumped gobs of demon spore into her hungry hole. When the throbbing finally relented, she gulped greedily, lapped at the excess, then, with an open hand, struck him hard at the base of his wilting sin tube. He yelped. Tears flowed.

Then, leaving the room, she denied he was her child and vowed to send him to an orphanage. He puddled under his pillow and extruded the emotions that were ripe in his heart, begging the Lord’s forgiveness.

There was no one listening.