Suzy’s Home Crisper

fresh-cucumber-carrot-juice
Suzy woke up…
Thirsty for cock
Shed some tears in a cup…
And fired up a rock

Cuz her man left her
And she
Was missing him…
She raided
The crisper
Got some produce for her quim…

She,
Stuffed it to the brim…
With fresh
Cukes and carrots
She forgot about him…
To focus on the merits

Of a healthy diet…
Some exercise…
And every man’s bias
For anal creampies

Rosebud

bible
Daryl Jenkins was a pious man.
When he married Melissa, her hymen was still intact, because she’d always insisted on anal. Their love was true and pure.

On their wedding night, Melissa was not pleased. Daryl did none of the things she longed for. No finger poppin’, no anal creampies, and no monster facials; no slapping, calling her degrading names, or treating her like a piece of trash.
Nuthin’.

Just making sweet tender love, missionary style.
Daryl moaned, “oh…yes..be fruitful and multiply”,  while filling her pussy with a very weak load. It was everything he’d hoped it would be. Melissa cried herself to sleep, knowing that her husband couldn’t fuck for shit.

The next day Melissa posted a craigslist ad looking for BBC’s.
Her inbox was stuffed with potentials. Her asshole was stuffed with big brown dicks, so many brown dicks,  that her asshole prolapsed into a rosebud. Disgusting.
I mean, ish.

One day Daryl came home from work to find Melissa on her knees surrounded by all of her new colored friends, her face plastered with gallons of mostly fresh semen, her asshole hanging down to the floor like an old sock.
Daryl almost lost his faith that day.
Almost.

Daryl eventually forgave Melissa.
Melissa eventually gave Daryl AIDS, after she was creampied by a guy who’d done some very gay stuff in college.

Every Day is a Gamble

dice

I rolled out of bed
and i sat on a potato

In the kitchen
like McGyver
Fished it out
With a ladle

Bent over
Spread the cheeks
Filled my holes with hot grits

Drew up
The bath water
Took two big shits

Yeah

Kibbles n bits
KIBBLES N BITS!